I was recently lamenting the fact that back-to-school doulas aren’t a thing, and I realized people need doulas for all kinds of situations. In fact, when one remembers that doula means “servant” (or, if you want to get technical, “female slave”), who DOESN’T need to be served once in a while? With that in mind, below are some doula services I have begun offering. (For real.)

1. Company’s Coming Doula: cleaning, organizing, meal planning, and shopping help for your next dinner party, holiday gathering, or house guest. Cost: $50 for 2 hours, or, if it’s your in-laws, $100 for 4 hours
2. Sports Weekend Reset Doula: your kid(s) played in an out-of-town tournament all weekend, and you get to come home to a messy house, smelly laundry, and no groceries. Jill will show up at your house on Monday, do the laundry, shopping, and tidying, and prep a dinner that’s not pizza or burgers. Cost: $100 for 4 hours
3. I Can’t Get Started Doula: there is a task gnawing at you; you’ve been meaning to start it for AGES and you just. can’t. get. started. Whether it’s filing your taxes, cleaning out your closets, or figuring out which summer camp to send your kids to, I will sit down with you and provide support and encouragement to give you that push you need. Cost: $50 for 2 hours
4. Laundry Reset Doula: there are piles of clothes everywhere, you can’t remember the last time the sheets were washed, and you somehow keep washing shorts even though your kids haven’t worn shorts for 5 months. I will wash, dry, and PUT AWAY the piles of laundry in your house, including storing/donating clothes that no longer fit or are out of season. Cost: $100 for 4 hours (additional hours $25/hour).
5. Laundry Maintenance Doula: for the family whose laundry multiplies the second they turn their backs. Regular laundry/dishes/housekeeping. Cost: $25/hour, 2-hour shift minimum; 5% discount when you prepay at least 10 hours
6. To-Do List-Slayer Doula: Your to-do list is as long as your arm, and includes such horrors as going to the post office AND the dry cleaner. And you should probably return that sweater you bought that doesn’t really fit. And the light-bulb in the hallway is burned out but you keep forgetting to check what kind of bulb it is. Give the list to Jill and watch her SLAY. Cost: $25/hour, 2-hour shift minimum
7. The “I Can’t Even” Doula: for the day when you can’t. even. I will schedule a massage for you, wash and put away last night’s dishes, run errands, do light housekeeping, and get tonight’s dinner started. Includes a non-judgmental listening ear and childcare, if desired. Cost: $200 for 6 hours (includes 1-hour massage from Lotus and the Lily in Edina)