(Originally published June 2014)

The other day, I realized I had been falsely stating my son’s age for the past several days as 18 months when he is, in fact, already 19 MONTHS. This came as a shock to me, since I once judged another mother harshly when I inquired how old her baby was and she turned to her friend, squinted up her face, and replied, “Um, five weeks? Six weeks?” (I later learned he was her sixth baby, so my judgement was lessened. Slightly.)

Parents frequently get asked how old their children are, and those asking typically come in several flavors:

1. Those who are making polite conversation but don’t really care
2. Other parents who are trying to assess the difference in age between your child and theirs for playdate compatibility purposes (because you can’t just eyeball it: a 6-month-old and an 11-month-old just don’t have a lot in common)
3. Other parents who are trying to assess the difference in age between your child and theirs for judgement purposes
4. Concerned citizens who will judge you if it takes you too long to remember and/or guess your baby’s age
5. Genuinely nice people who are taking an interest in you and your baby and your life because they’re just nice. (Obviously, if I ask how old your baby is, I fall into this category.)

Keeping that in mind, you may wish to assess the situation and provide an answer somewhere in between the extremes of:

1. a blank stare, a motion towards your knee, and the phrase, “About this old?” and

2. “He’s 14 1/2 weeks!” (this is not an answer; this is a math problem)

Here are some helpful guidelines:

• You may state your baby’s age in DAYS if he is less than 2 weeks old.
• You may state your baby’s age in WEEKS if he is 6 weeks old or less. Between 6 and 8 weeks, you may refer to your baby as “almost 2 months”, then by months or months-and-a-half.
• You may state your baby’s age in MONTHS up to 2 years (I know, this is controversial; the more conservative among you may wish to go up to just 18 months, then switch to one-and-a-half).
• After two years, acceptable phrase types include: “She’s 3,” “She’s 3 1/2,” “She’s almost 4,” or even “She’ll be 4 in July.” Only the child herself may note quarter or three-quarter year increments.
• You may provide a more specific answer if the mother asking the question is currently holding a child of similar age to your own.
• If someone wants a more accurate count of your child’s exact age, he or she will ask a follow-up question.
• My sister used to provide the ages of all other children in relation to the ages of her own children (as in, “Oh, Zoe? She’s 16 months younger than Owen.”). Don’t do this.
• For the math-challenged, sleep-deprived, and/or moms-of-many among you, you can use the handy calculator at How Old is My Kid? for a quick calculation of your child’s age in days, weeks, months AND years.

And whatever you do, don’t be this mom:

“I know I sound dumb, but my son was born on July 13th, that was a Friday. So every friday I count him a week older, once I got to 4 weeks, I assumed he was a month old and then when I got to 8 weeks (yesterday) I assumed he was 2 months old. I sent out “2 month old” pictures via email to my family and my mom wrote back asking if she had the date wrong, she thought he was born on the 13th (he was). This got me thinking, is he 2 months old at 8 weeks? or on the 13th of this month?? HELP!”

Help, indeed.