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Ten Things I’ve Learned From 100 Births

Posted by Jill Christianson, Paisley Twin Cities on

Finally! My number one most-read blog post from Fargo Doula, originally published in 2014.

I attended my 100th birth in May. I have learned something at every birth, but here are the big lessons I’ve come away with so far:

  1. Women are strong. There’s “36-hour (or 72-hour) natural childbirth” strong; “coming to terms with getting an epidural even though you really, really didn’t want one” strong; “recovering from a c-section while caring for a newborn” strong; “hanging on through a fast and furious labor that squeezed all of the intensity of a 12-hour birth into 2 hours” strong; and “experiencing the loss of your baby and surviving” strong. I come away from every birth with a new appreciation for mothers’ strength, determination, and love for their babies.waterbirth baby
  2. First labors are long, second labors are short, and third labors are unpredictable.
  3. A good care provider is worth her weight in gold.
  4. Because of hospital protocols, I’ve seen cool things at homebirths that even experienced hospital staff have never seen, like two babies born in the caul (born with the bag of waters still intact). I’ve also attended a few dozen waterbirths, and the birth of a baby born at (gasp) 42 weeks 5 days.
  5. Women can go past 41 (or 42 or 43) weeks of pregnancy and not explode.
  6. There is no “right” way to give birth.
  7. There is no “right” way to feel after giving birth. Some women are elated, some are exhausted, some are disappointed, some are happy not to be pregnant anymore, some are sad that their pregnancy is over, some are feeling all of the feelings at once.
  8. There is no “right” way to feel about your baby after birth. Some women fall immediately head-over-heels in love, and some are more tentative about their new family member. Some mothers are mushy and lovey-dovey, while others have more of an instinctive, protective “if anyone hurts my baby I’ll rip their face off” sort of feeling.
  9. If I’m tired enough and the laboring mother is asleep, I can sleep upright in a wooden rocking chair. However, I will probably have nightmares about the zombie apocalypse in which I will be most concerned about whether we should disconnect the IV and epidural or just take the IV pole with us as we escape from the zombies.
  10. I love my job.