The one million questions they ask you when you arrive at the hospital in labor

If you have had a baby before, you know that checking in to the hospital and answering all of their intake questions takes approximately 4 hours, or, hopefully, all of the time you’re there before you’re actively pushing your baby out. If you plan to do most of your laboring at home, or if you’re planning to use hypnosis during labor (bugger, I mean during your Birthing Time), you may wish to print off this list of questions and write down your answers  prior to labor. That way, you can concentrate on, say, giving birth instead of trying to remember what the dosage of your DHA supplement is. The nurse may be able to simply enter in your answers without bothering you at all. Or, your partner can answer on your behalf (maybe with the occasional nod of agreement from you) for most/all of the questions. Be aware that this list may not be exhaustive, questions may be phrased differently, and questions may vary by hospital.


  1. Has baby been moving? More or less than normal?
  2. What is your current pain level? (hint: don’t say 8 while continuing to text on your phone)
  3. What is an acceptable pain level for you? 
  4. Have you had any complications with this pregnancy?
  5. Are you experiencing high blood pressure, dizziness, blurred vision, headaches, or swelling?
  6. What was the last thing you ate or drank and when?
  7. Are you taking any medications, vitamins, or supplements? (dosage and when you last took them)
  8. Do you have any allergies?
  9. Have you ever had surgery? When and for what?
  10. Do you have any open wounds?
  11. Do you have vision impairment? Do you wear contacts or glasses?
  12. Do you have hearing impairment?
  13. During the past month, have you often been bothered by feeling down, depressed, or hopeless?
  14. During the past month, have you experienced little interest or pleasure in doing things?
  15. What is your pain management plan? (Even if you are planning to get an epidural, I highly recommend telling them that you know what your options are for pain and you will ask if/when you need them)
  16. Will you be breastfeeding or formula feeding?
  17. Would you like the baby to be given a pacifier?
  18. If baby’s a boy, will you be having him circumcised?
  19. Are you on WIC or any other community services? Would you like information on any services?
  20. Would you like a tubal ligation while you’re here?
  21. What are the names of the people you’ve brought with you? (spouse/partner, doula, family, friends)
  22. What prenatal classes have you taken? (Lamaze, breastfeeding, infant care, car seat safety, etc.)
  23. Have you used alcohol during this pregnancy? If so, what is the average number of drinks per week?
  24. Have you used tobacco during this pregnancy? Are you a regular smoker?
  25. Have you used other drugs during this pregnancy?
  26. Do you have a car seat?
  27. Do you have financial concerns about this hospital stay?
  28. Would you like to see a lactation consultant during your stay?
  29. Do you have any religious or spiritual concerns?
  30. Would you like spiritual care during your stay?
  31. Would you like your church notified that you are here?
  32. Do you have a healthcare directive?
  33. Would you like information on creating a healthcare directive?

Then they’ll awkwardly ask your partner to go and get you a glass of water or get that last bag from the car so they can ask question number one million: Do you feel safe at home?

There. NOW you can have a baby.

What is your return policy?

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